cleekmomma

Some time ago I started to write a blog about the Author Robert Jordan who passed away last month. I've finally been able to finish it and publish it to my blog.
You can find what I wrote on our own webspace where I been blogging

http://cleekfamily.com/

I been blogging on my own domain here lately, it's been  abit quiet as I've not had much time to blog but I will be back in the swing of things next week as Cole starts 2nd grade.

If you want to check out where I been blogging go to http://cleekfamily.com/

Well I am sure that is what you are asking yourself. I write as if I am writing to alot of people  but really I am just writing for one. I know that she reads me and I try to update this just for her.


Shyanne is 3 as I have said in my last entry and she is just the funniest little girl. She loves bugs and loves being outside and dirt and all that comes with getting messy but then on the other hand she is super girly and is all into dress up. This picture we took on the 4th and I took it with her and her Aunt Hallie. Yes I know Hallie is quite young to be an Aunt but that is what happens when your Father in Law and Step MIL decide to adopt a baby from China just around this time last yr. She will be two at the End of September

Ok for now I need to end it here rather short update but that is what i get for tryin to post when Elliot is still awake.

OK edited my post...
Alright Steve took over and put Elliot to bed. So as I was saying we went to Chicago on the 3 wk in june and we had a good time. My  best friend Angelica just had a baby she named her Genevieve, well she actually had her in november but this was my first time getting home to see her. She is a big old chunk of happy baby. i think they gave us the flu as my friend informed me that she was sick the friday before we seen them and then sunday morning cole was puking and the flu hit the rounds of everyone but me the entire time that we were there. Thankfully I didn't get sick as we all know how fucked up it is for the mom to get sick as well.
I then got to meet up with my friend Laura from another online board I am apart of we have been close friends for over 3 yrs now and it was just wonderful to meet her and her family. She was originally from Venezuela, but moved to Florida then from Florida they moved to Kansas City and from there to Nebraska. They drove into Chicago from Nebraska to go to the Vz Consulate to renew their passports and she just planned it when we would be there and we met them for two days it was great. Sucks I wish she lived closer as with other certain friends I've met through the internet. *eyes the reader*
We have a ton of pictures that I will try to include in a picture post sometime tomorrow. Me and Steve are doing well I had chopped my hair short again a few mos back, not sure if I had mentioned that. You have to love public schools and headlice. After having it two times from my child within a few weeks of trin to get rid of it i just said screw it and nearly did a britney lol but just went with a pixie style.
Elliot is almost 15mos old now and he's just cute as hell. He doesn't talk to much but I think he just doesn't want to admit that he can talk. He's said some basic words but seems to not be talking all that much anyway but I know he's a boy and Cole wasn't much of a talker until he was closer to 2 or nearly older then 2. Here is a recent picture of him. I have so much to write but I find my wrists getting cramped up. He's getting a bunch of teeth Here is the picture from when we were in Chicago. I suppose I will have many journal entries over the next few days maybe weeks to keep you update in all that has gone on so then i can get caught up then try to keep this a daily journal.

This one is specifically for you Dest. As you are really my only friend here anyway lol and I can't blame them as I don't write here enough. I always start these with good intentions and get sidetracked so damn easily.
So here we go

We have a wholesale store near us i got a few times a week to check the deals.
Well they had this really cute lady bug ceiling fan

I have been tryint to find out much it cost full value but i only found an ebay auction for 130$ and we got it for 38 dollars

Here are it's specs hehe. It's for Shyanne's room of course
* 42 inch Ceiling Fan in White Finish
* 5 Hand Carved Blades in Ladybug Pattern with Matching Housing
* Single Light Kit Included - Use Candelabra Base Bulb (light- bulb not included)
* Triple Capacitors Enable Whisper-quiet Operation
* 3 Speeds with Reverse Rotation Save Energy and Bring Year Round Comfort
* Remote Control Included

Happy Mothers day to everyone!
I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day!

On the 12th of April Elliot turned a year old, shortly after Shyanne turned 3, on the 28th. We had a party for them on April 29th. For Shyanne's actual birthday we took them to the Chinese Buffett by her request. Where she enjoyed some broccoli and various other things.
Here is some pictures from that day. The Chinese restaurant was Fab! They sang her happy  birthday gave her gifts and some pastries. It was really nothing that we expected but Shyanne was thrilled to be treated so special.
Shyanne's China Party
My mom and my cousin Lisa had drove down from Chicago to see us and it was really an awesome night.

Then came Sunday and we had her birthday part in which we combined it with Elliot's first birthday party. We didn't really have a theme or anything we just bbq'ed and Steve brought an inflatable from work. You will notice in these pics that I cut my hair off because the Friday before everyone was due in I got some head lice again! So I chopped all my hair off.
Here are some pictures from the birthday party.
Per her request we had pink cupcakes. Even the cake part was pink
The Birthday Party
Then my mom was just in for two days so we did the usual family pictures and we said goodbye before bed and my mom was off the next morning about 4am!
After Party Pics

It was nice but hard to say goodbye to my mom. That was the first time we had seen her since October and she spoiled all of us!

Many of you know that I was former Air Force, I got out when I was pregnant with Cole.  During Tech School I had planned to Career the AF until I arrived in Utah and the assholes there ruined my visions of the AF. Some of them felt you were a child and not an adult there to defend your  Motherlands, just as they were.  I seperated from the Air Force in September 1999, welcoming our first Son Cole shortly after in February. I've always secretly told myself that I wish I would've stayed in longer, but I was just desperate to GTFO of the Air Force at the time that I didn't even think about it. I  have enjoyed my near 8 yrs of being a SAHM but, I also feel a regret of wishing that I had stayed in longer or at least finished my signed up term.  I know the choices that I have made have been the best choices for our family, I  had just always assumed that we would be a Military Family.  Steve gave his heart and soul to the Military and they shit down his neck. It's amazing what a little bit of rank and dislike can do for your Military Career.  Anyway when Steve got out we were told that he could return w/in 6 mos. So when the 6 mos passed Steve was still pretty tore up over what happened, rejoining the  Air Force was the last thing on his mind.  Well fast forward a few yrs later, I still have the slight regret of getting out of the Military and with Steve not being in anymore the deep feeling that it was kinda my fault. Not that he was forced to be a Recruiter or anything, but I know that he was changing his career to make me  happy so we can get closer to home. At the time I was so homesick with being pregnant, I just wanted to be near my mom. Steve when he's being sweet will do anything for me and even though I never asked him he decided that he wanted to try Recruiting and so we went back to IL and that was a huge mistake which ended something that Steve wanted more then anything.
    We are down in Tennessee here and we are happy here but I just can't get past the feeling that this isn't forever. I like it here  it's very beautiful and calm, but something is missing. Sometimes I think that I would like to go back into the Military.  Then I think of all the negatives about it, not so much of what it means to be in the Military, just alot of the bullshit you can get from it for being in the office. All my girls from when I was in most are still in and I keep in touch with several of them, they have all of these adventures and some have been all over the world and I think to myself is this it? Is this all that I will be? I just feel like I need to do something for myself, something that makes me feel like Jaime, not just Mom or Wife. I don't know what that is but I am very anxious to get going in something in my life. I stress over money and I stress over our health insurance situation, sometimes I guess life just sucks.  Maybe it's just my area that I live in, there is really nothing here to do that is fun. I love my kids and I love being here with them and just observing how they act and behave it's quite comical. I have been blessed with some wonderful kids and I think that sometimes I take advantage of that and I kinda let them be alone alot. Not alone in the aspect of leaving the house with them alone, but all of my kids except for Elliot because he's so small still, just prefer to be by themselves. I will go try to spend some time with Shyanne and she will be like Mommy will you just get out of here ? It makes me laugh but hindsight it sucks. Do I suck that bad that they don't want me around. I know that sometimes I yell too much, it's mostly directed at Cole. I just think that he's old enough to  be able to do somethings   and he just doesn't so I yell and I feel bad because I always tell myself that I  yell too much and I need to take it easy. Cole is a fabulous little boy and I just have to accept him for who he is.  I always tell him that Mommy doesn't get mad at him and that I am proud of him but that sometimes I just get aggravated and I yell but I never stay mad, I just say I  have a big mouth like Grandma(my mom) and he understands and I think he's ok. I really do try to get better and I have really mellowed out a ton and I rarely yell when I do I catch myself and play it off like I was playing and it seems to work.


I guess all the past few weeks of dealing with Head Lice has gotten to me LOL I think we've finally beat it but we still are picking some stuff out of the kids hair but it just seems to be all old stuff.
So anyway I will end this and check my spelling(actually LJ spell check sucks) so then I can also cross post this to myspace.

Ok first let me say that I can be the nicest person ever! Secondly let me state that I will  nearly do everything I can for my friends and family.
For the past month maybe more, my niece was coming off the bus with Cole and I would keep an eye on her until her Momma or Steve's brother got off work and picked her up.  We all loved having her here she had a good time playing with the kids.  So, anyway T(bil) and his wife are fighting again and she's moved out. It's like the millionth time this has happened. I knew that once that happened I wouldn't be watching J anymore. I had mentioned to Steve that I hope C(sil) lets me know so I am not sitting around waiting all day for J to come off the bus because sometimes I like to pick up Cole from school a bit early and can't because I never know if she was coming on the bus with him or not.
Mind you me and C were pretty close friends and I bent myself in half for her when she was pregnant. I was also pregnant Shyanne and her son are 6 mos apart. So it's not like we were just family we were kinda friends. We got along really well and I never got involved in the Springer drama with her and Bil.  Fast forward to the other day I receive a text message on my phone, yes i said a TEXT MESSAGE, from her stating the following
"J is gonna start riding the bus to my moms house, but thanks so much for everything. C"
What the fuck for as long as it took her to type that text message she could've called my phone and told me that...

It pissed me off and still pisses me off to think about it. I was saving her money by watching her, we enjoyed her here and had her for free!
I feel so bad when I told Cole J wouldn't be riding the bus with him anymore, he told me that it made him sad that he will miss her and probably  never get to see her again. Sadly he's probably right because each time they fight we never get to hear from her. They go to the same school but they don't get to see alot of each other even though they are in the same grade they have different teachers this year.


And another thing to add as a side note,
She told Cole yesterday that her parents (sil & bil) were fighting again so she wouldn't be able to see Cole. (keep in mind she's really T's step child but he did love her even if he was a jackass to her momma and her sometimes) She also told Cole she has to stay far away from T because he's bad news and that Cole should also stay away from him. He told us this when you come home. It's ok to breed hate but you don't spread the shit to your children and ruin their perspective of someone. It's not like her momma is an innocent angel in all of this ya know.

So yea I am writing to myself since I only have you as my friend Maria!!

Ok I like to blog but I normally do my blogs on myspace but I will probably blog here then copy them to Myspace.

I have no idea how you find people here so maybe Destiny can assist me with that!

I suppose I will keep this one rather short as my house is erupting in crabby children and not matter what I do they don't stop crabbing. It probably doesn't help that the house is like 85 degrees because we are not using our air due to the fact of an extremly large electric bill.

I guess I am off to find some friends that use this hehe.